Memory unfolds memory unfolds memory unfolds memory …

Spark plays fetch in the Petawawa River.

Spark plays fetch in the Petawawa River.

My latest batch of poems immediately suggested a number of themes to me. This posting gathers several of the ones that seem to be concerned with memory.

I want to remember because
We are the only ones who remember

Because everything rolls on
Like an avalanche
Like a hurricane
No
Just like an ocean wave
Of forgetting
Things and things
Swept away heedlessly by time

And we are the only ones
Who care to remember

We are the only ones who care
We cling to memories
We can love a thing, like a book
Or a song
Or a picture
We’re just trying to make
something, anything
Last

In the midst of an
Explosion of cascading changes
A simple ocean wave
A hurricane
An avalanche

Not something greater than ourselves
Just ourselves
But mediated
Transformed, transfigured
Carried safe through time
As an image, a word
A thought

Simply because
We care to remember

Simply because
We care

– 12 Oct 08 –

The grainy b&w photos
Rustling murky tinny tape recordings
Words scribbled in notebooks
Tapped out on typewriters
Printed by computers
Like bones and muscles
Beneath the skin of memory.

– 25 Oct 08 –

WINNIPEG MEMORY

Safe under the cotton sheets
It’s ten in the evening and
The sky only reluctantly darkens
Broad band of orange light
Sunset shreds of cloud
I can hear the kids
Still playing on the swings
Dogs bark
Sleepy
With my rocket crystal radio
Alligator clip on metal bed frame
Tiny earphone in ear
I search the magic ether
For the stations
That will whisper, and sing
As I slip slowly
Into sleep

– 29 Oct 08 –

Changes to Swedish policy
Euphoria look for ya
Glassy thurs coffee break
Snow – the piles of it – everywhere
Torture porn library film
It’s “freedom” of some sort
Choose yr illusion
Packaged delusion

But it’s the heavy silences
That seem to impose themselves
Against vast endless discourse
(Chatter, noise, clutter)
(Saab + Volvo, Swedish children)
I open my mouth and say nothing
It’s memory I’m mazed with
Language deficiencies
A lack of tongues to
Cover the silences with sentences

Snow, instead
Snow and so on
Swan blonde woman in
Dark hooky internet lair
Order this or that or
I retrace our prison walls
Rough lines burr fuzz blur
Crosshatched and scribbled
But we are alone we are not alone
Know nothing / everything of
one / another

Yearning for annihilation
And fearing it in
An exquisite anguish,
It makes of torture porn
A pathetic shadow of
Our true state
A kiss for Kathy Acker
A kiss too late but
Honest, a kiss full of my love

The no one one awaits
Every love is loved and not loved
Each is sufficient and never enough
There’s always the shadow of
Death, like a velvet halo
I kiss you and I kiss your death
The mad conspiracy to string
An insubstantial spit, a glittering web
From one lost, imprisoned self
To the next.

– 11 Jan 09 –

All the flows and eddies of
The garbage in my head
Wink twinkles of time
Fragments – faces, instants of
Memory tugged this way and that
By tides of chance
Lacking the anchor of
Purposeful thought marshalled
Not yet by the
Narrow meshed nets of
Nightly dreams

– 19 Jan 09 –

COMMENT FOR JOE

Night bus from Montreal.
Whispering road, bleary lights,
Scatter of memories along the shoulder
Of the moon’s highway.

– 13 Mar 09 –

Wandering lonely as a vortex
It’s happening again
The despairing, despairing of
Ever ever ever again –
And yet two nights ago and
Tickled pink about some memory
Some memory trigger
A simple arrangement of
Recorded bits and pieces
Just a few nights home
Away from bar scenes and such
And already I’m feeling like
Aw what the fuck it ain’t worth it
This day-to-day solitaire
Blame mother, blame me, blame
(Blame blame blame like a barrage)
Blame drains all joy out of being
Mystery – feh – gimme more
I want extasy home delivery
With a side-order of salaciousness
Or maybe just a genuine friend
If I can ever find the friend in
Myself and forgive him his
Trespasses

– 24 Mar 09 –

“Wisdom is My Strength”
Hymn mentioned by Céline in North

I am in novel land
Watching this wind of creation
Blowing away clouds of forgetting

I have entered yet another space
My skin destroyed by winter
But I’m calm
Tooth decay I’m calm, calm
Everything survives, everything
Persists

My rooms, my things
All feel like echoes
The story on the screen
I mean my own story
Unfolds as I sit and write
Unfolds and is real to me
Unfolds and is real

– 30 Apr 09 –

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One comment

  1. Gilles Chiasson · March 20, 2010

    Love the theme; memory. It is one of the refractions from the mirror of life.
    Peace
    Gil

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